by Rachel Harris
Part 15
Parts 1 through 14 can be found at Rachel's home page -- A Whole Other Life
Marsha cringed and immediately pulled away from Duncan as she saw Joel standing there. A waft of booze seemed to follow his words and he once again had that cold stare.
"Joel, are you O.K.?" Marsha asked out of instinct.
"NO! I am NOT O.K. but I WILL be O.K. now that I understand just what type of person you are! It didn't take you long to get over me now did it?!" Joel accused, his words jumbled into a slush.
Joel started to walk away. He must have taken a cab as there was no vehicle to be seen. "Thank heavens he isn't driving," Marsha thought to herself.
"Joel, maybe we better all calm down a bit, guy" Duncan said, hoping to conjole him. "Things will look a lot better in the morning after we all sleep on it. You need me to call you a cab, or give you a lift somewhere?"
Joel then turned on Duncan with full drunken force. "You would LIKE that I bet wouldn't you. Then you could get her into bed yourself! I don't need ANYTHING from either of you! I didn't travel all this way to have her be with her DAMN brother-in-law. Damn you! Damn you both!" Joel said as turned once again to leave.
"Listen guy," Duncan pursued, "Let's just mellow out and call it a night for now, O.K.? Nothing is going to get resolved this way and from the smell of it, it's clear you've really tied one on."
Marsha's anxiety level began to raise even higher. "These were sides of Joel she couldn't have guessed. He told her that he didn't drink that often. She should have asked him 'what he was like when he HAD been drinking.' How could she help get this calmed down and fast?" she wondered.
"Duncan is right, Joel, nothing is going to get worked out tonight, and certainly not out here in the yard. It's late. Let's all just go in and have some tea. You are welcome to crash on the couch- you both are, and we can talk in the morning. I am bushed."
"What in the world was Marsha trying to do?" Duncan thought to himself. "Here I am trying to get this guy AWAY from here so she will be safe with everything so volatile. I sure don't want to wrestle with this angry drunk."
"NO! Don't let ME ruin your party!" Joel said with vehemence. "I will call my OWN cab."
"Joel, please, let Duncan give you a ride back or come in and let me call you a cab. There isn't a phone booth anywhere near here and I am worried about you." Marsha implored.
"Don't you think it's a little late to act like you care? It is clear that you care for someone else. And here I was coming to apologize. What a fool I have been!" Joel scowled.
"Joel, you know I care about you. Please, just let's go inside so we don't put on a show for the neighbors, " Marsha begged as she tried to guide him into the house.
Joel finally allowed himself to be directed into the house. His nastiness seemed to be checked at the door and he visibly relaxed when he came inside. He asked to use the bathroom, politely at that, and wobbled his way unassisted down the hall.
"What in the world were you thinking" Duncan asked Marsha in hurried and hushed tones. " I almost had him outta here for you."
"I know, I know, but I just wanted him to calm down and come inside," Marsha explained. "I didn't want a scene in the front yard. I know he is upset and drunk, but Joel is really a good person. I want to make sure he is O.K.
"Well I don't want to fight off a drunk, angry guy who is outta control. He seems to be calming down a bit, but I am NOT going anywhere unless I am absolutely sure you are safe!" Duncan insisted.
"I appreciate it Duncan! I appreciate YOU!!" Marsha shared earnestly. "I am so sorry to drag you into this."
"I am only too happy to help out, Marsha," Duncan replied. "There is really very little in this world I wouldn't do for you."
Duncan and Marsha stood for a minute looking at each other. Marsha's eyes welled up with tears. "I know Duncan. You have been so wonderful to Benny and me. I don't think I could have gotten through everything without you. I really don't."
Before Duncan could respond, Joel came in from the bathroom. It appeared that he was working hard to seem sober and had even washed his face and combed his hair.
"Is that offer for coffee still good? I could really use it," Joel said, slurring his words considerably less.
"Of course," Marsha said, jumping up to make a fresh pot.
"Hey listen" Joel backtracked, "I can still call a cab if I am interrupting you two. I know I don't have any right getting into your business."
"No problem here-" Duncan emphasized "or no worries, mate" as they say in Australia. How have you liked it there? You know that's a place I've always wanted to go."
"It's great there. It was just what I needed after my wife died. It's a perfect place to settle down and raise a family…" Joel's voice trailed off as if he was saddened by his words.
Duncan, afraid Joel might be on an emotional roller coaster and become a crying drunk, tried to keep it light. "I've heard a lot about a few places there and I thought it would be fantastic to check them out. Like the Barrier Reef and Tasmania. I hear that the Arts Festival in Adelaide is lots of fun, too."
"I had planned on taking Marsha and Benny to all of those places and more," Joel lamented, "I guess that won't ever happen now!"
Marsha called out from over by the sink, "Joel, everything is going to be O.K. It will work out, honest." Marsha did her best to reassure him without getting into any troubled topics. "Here's the coffee- black, right?" Marsha asked.
Joel would not easily be derailed. "Yea, black coffee and a black future of you aren't in my life," he mumbled loudly.
Marsha and Duncan ignored his comment, hoping he would let it go. "Duncan, would you like some coffee or tea?" Marsha asked.
"Sure, here, let me get it, " Duncan said , hopping up off the couch. Duncan was aware that he was getting sleepy, but he was not about to let this guy hang out there unless Duncan also stayed. He wasn't sure how or even where this guy was supposed to sleep. "C'mon Marsha… let's get this show on the road, here!" Duncan thought to himself.
"Let's all go sit in the den where we will be more comfortable," Marsha said, almost reading Duncan's mind.
In the den, Marsha put on some soothing jazz and offered them some cheese and crackers. Joel seemed to be winding down and thankfully not had much of his coffee. Marsha remembered someone saying once that "coffee doesn't do anything to sober up a drunk, it just makes for a wide awake drunk." He apparently had not eaten much that day, so the few drinks he said he had, went right to his head.
Duncan asked if he could get online and check his email. Marsha, thankful for ANY neutral activity, jumped at the chance now to turn on the computer. Joel faded in and out of the conversation as the music, soft lights, emotional weariness and the alcohol all conspired to put him to sleep.
When Marsha fired up Eudora, she noticed one from Joel right dab in the middle of all her mail list posts from 41plus GalaxyNET
Marsha hesitated, then motioned silently for Duncan to look at the monitor. Nervously looking at Joel who was mostly dozing on the couch, she read the letter.
"Dear Marsha,How can you ever forgive me? I am so sorry to treat you that way this morning. After I left, I went back to the hotel and sat and thought about what had happened. I was still so angry and frustrated. I decided to get online and try to cool off with friends that might be on.
I went to our channel but there wasn't really anyone there I knew. I don't know why, but I stayed anyway and they were in a hot discussion about AIDS. I guess there was the first documented case was in the news about AIDS being transferred by kissing. Talk about timing! There sure were a lot of opinions about it so I brought up our situation as a hypothetical one about testing and trust. EVERYONE was adament that it wasn't a matter of trust, it was a matter of safety. It sure made me think about what you had to say in a whole different way. IRC is great for that, isn't it?
Well, I got to wondering about why I had gotten so angry. It finally hit me! I don't think I ever told you this before, but when I was a teenager, this girl I knew got the "clap". G*d, remember when that seemed lie it was the end of the world? Little did we know then. She told everyone she got it from me and it was a reportable disease. The health department had to contact people on her list. Well I knew it couldn't have been from me, I hadn't seen her in ages and had only been with her once. The gossip went flying all through the school though and her parents even told my parents. I was mortified. The only way I could clear my name was to go to the clinic and take a test. I hated being forced. As it turned out, I was right. She DIDN'T get it from me, but I felt so betrayed and humiliated.
I guess it pissed me off so much, I put it out of my mind and hadn't thought of it until now. I know this doesn't excuse my behavior, it just helps me understand why I might have overreacted. All I can say is 'I'm sorry and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
I have tried calling you a few times without any luck and I hope you are O.K. I am going stir crazy here with worry knowing I upset you and wondering about our future. I might hang out in the lounge for a bit and keep calling. I also might just grab a cab over to make sure you are o.k. and to beg you to talk this out.
I love you Marsha. I can't believe what a fool I was. I need you so much. Please say it's not too late.
Yours, now as always,
Joel"
Both Marsha and Duncan sighed deeply. Marsha broke the silence, "No wonder he was so upset. I wonder how long he had been sitting there waiting and worrying? I feel so terrible."
"Marsha," Duncan began, "We haven't done anything wrong. There are no bad guys here. It's all going to be all right. Let's take our own advice and not try to solve everything this minute. Joel seems calmer now, but I'd feel much better if I crashed here too. Want to help me get his shoes off? Let's just lay him down on the couch here and I will take the lounger chair."
"You don't have to do that Duncan. I'm sure we'll be fine now, Marsha whispered as she helped reposition Joel without waking him.
"I insist" Duncan whispered back as he rearranged the throw pillow under Joel's head.
"Well at least take Benny's bed , or the guest bed where you will be more comfortable. He is out like a light and I doubt we will hear a thing from him until morning." Marsha said, trying to assure Duncan.
"Thanks anyway sweets, but I am going to send you off to sleep, and head to sleep myself right here on this chair, after I check my email if you don't mind." Duncan said lightly.
Marsha tipped a pretend hat and said, "O.K. then boss, I'm a heading to bed. What a day, what a week, what a year this has been. I can only say this much, it is like that FERON song. 'Life don't clickity clack down a straight line path, it come together and it come apart!' See you in the morning dear friend and you know something Duncan?"
"What?" Duncan asked.
"No matter what happens on this clickity clackety journey we are on, the most important thing to me is that you are not only family, you are truly my dearest friend!"
Duncan went over and gave her the tightest hug a dear friend type could give another soul and watched her head out to get some needed rest.
He checked his email, somewhat distractedly, then settled himself into the recliner. "Marsha was sure right," Duncan thought to himself. Life has so many twists and turns, it is easy to be caught off guard. One day you go for a routine walk with your dog and events turn so that one life can end while other lives are then spun together in an entirely different tapestry.
For so long, Duncan had worried and wondered what was going to happen next. Now, with even more questions in his mind and nothing resolved, he found himself not worrying at all. Would Marsha make up with Joel and move to Australia with Benny? Would he actually get to meet Genvieve who captured his brother's heart and also captivated Duncan himself on some level as well? What was that kiss all about with Marsha? Life just wasn't like some dime store novel that could be wrapped up so tidy in a certain amount of chapters. As Duncan looked at the picture of his brother on the mantle and drifted towards sleep, he couldn't help but hear Ben's voice reassuring him. "Trust in the power of love." With that comforting thought in Duncan's mind, the droning sound of Joel's snoring finished off the task.
Postscript
I have decided to make this the last installment of this story; at least for now. I have been trying to end this story for several months now without much luck I was talking to my husband about my struggles with an ending and told him that "these characters were just not cooperating!" We both had to chuckle at the sound of that idea.
To some extent there was some truth in that statement. These characters are composites of friends and family woven together a bit with the magic of the Internet. Since I see life as an ongoing journey, I had trouble just ending their various travels with easy, pat situations.
There might be some people who will be frustrated with me for not solving all the dilemmas in this story. If you wish to email me with your version of the ending chapter of this tale, I would be happy to publish it. It could really be fun to see the various scenarios.
As far as this part of my journey goes, I want to thank everyone for their ongoing support of me and "A Whole Other Life."