She was quite popular it would appear, and he found her completely delightful. When he did manage to type in a few comments to channel, lots of others LOL'd (he later found out that meant Laughing Out Loud ) but again, nothing from Genvieve. This was going to be a bit more challenging than he thought.

A new person came into channel and asked everyone where they were from. Without thinking, he answered "New London, Conn" and within seconds, he got a private message. He looked and was surprised to see that it was from Genvieve. "Halo. My frend from there. You know ? Ben Sandres name."

Duncan, or rather "Starbuck", was a bit surprised that she didn't seem to know how to spell Ben's last name accurately. He chalked it up to the language differences, but also felt a bit reassured that she might not be able to find his grieving sister-in-law very easily. He made a mental note to take a look at the phone book to see if Ben and Marsha's number was indeed listed. He could also say with a fair amount of honesty, that he did not know a Ben Sandres.

"Oh is tooooo tooooo bad for me" Genvieve said. "He is frend long time but no see Ben long time!!!!!!!!!" "Starbuck" saw this as his opportunity to find out what all she knew about Ben's life away from this computer. "Oh that is too bad", he said in an effort to show some sympathy. "Maybe if I knew more about him, I would have a better idea if I knew him. This is a very small town and I used to know someone named Ben, but he had a different last name." He was grateful that so far he didn't have to lie to her at all. He kept hoping she wouldn't ask more questions.

"Oh he gooooooood man. He frends all peeple. No peeple think hes bad. He teeches me English. He so kind man!" Genvieve went on and on in her cute, broken English about his brother. It was a bittersweet sort of feeling for him. He liked hearing all these wonderful things about Ben. At the same time, he felt a great deal of responsibility for Marsha and Benny. Now, to some extent, he also felt responsibility to this Genvieve woman who had meant so much to Ben.

It was also a bit strange, but since Genvieve didn't know of Ben's death, it was almost like he was still "alive." There were so many things he wanted to ask her, to learn about this side of Ben he didn't know at all. Even though Duncan was still grieving deeply, he found himself being comforted by talking about Ben with Genvieve.

Genvieve seemed to sparkle, even in her typed words as she talked about Ben, or anything for that matter. "Starbuck" found that Ben had been fairly honest with her. She knew that he was married and had a young son. She knew generally what he did for a living, but didn't seem to know the actual place. She thought that she had an URL for his homepage somewhere in an old e-mail. She wasn't sure. Since she only had a "shell" account through a BBS (whatever that meant), she never had seen the page. Come to think of it, Duncan had never really seen the page either. Another thing for the "to do" list.

"Starbuck" found that he was having real difficulties paying attention to the #44plusfriends channel. He just wanted to focus on Genvieve. He told everyone "bye" and left to just hung out in message land with Genvieve. There would be long periods of time when no messages would come from her. Several times he wondered if she was even still there and he had lots of empty time to mull over in his mind the question "what in the hell am I doing here?" Then, a sweet message would come, sometimes a coy message, sometimes a funny message and it would fuel more minutes of waiting around for her. She was enchanting and even with the language barriers, they seemed to be communicating really well.

Here he was, just messaging away with Genvieve, and he noticed that all of a sudden he was automatically joined with a channel called #NEWFRIENDS. Looking at the list of nicks, he noticed that he was the only one there besides Genvieve herself. He felt guilty and annoyed at himself at the enjoyment he was getting out of visiting with this woman. He sternly told himself that the whole purpose of his getting to know her was to find out ways to protect his dead brother's family. He decided that he would just try to keep her talking about Ben as much as he could without making her suspicious.

Genvieve seemed to have other things on her mind besides talking about Ben. Instead she wanted to know about "Starbuck". He noticed how open he felt with her as he explained that he had never really found the right person so far in his life and he was beginning to believe that he was just not the right type for any kind of serious relationship. Up until now, that had always been a challenge to the women he had known. Each seemed to try their best to see if they were the "right" one for him.

With Genvieve however, it was different. She was very clear that she was NOT looking for any serious relationship with any man in "l'amour." Apparently she had also been married once when she was much younger and it didn't work out. It had caused her much pain. She was not interested in doing it again, ever. Genvieve was very adamant about that. She said that her heart really belonged to another person now, even though she could never have all of him. She said she was happy with the part of him that she could have and she just stayed busy with her many friends. "I am sooooooo happy to meet you new friend Starbuck!" she emphasized and said "In this life, never, never, never tooooooo much amis!"

On that note about friendship, he decided to call it a night and he bade her farewell. He was taken aback a bit with how demonstrative she was hugs and bisouses. He had assumed she was talking about Ben when she had spoken of given her heart to another, but maybe she was just a flirt with everyone. Maybe Ben had actually been just one of many.

As he walked home, he mulled over what had transpired. While he had certainly answered some of the big questions that had been pressing on him, like: "In what name/capacity he was going to meet her?" and "Was she an immediate threat to Marsha and Benny?" -- he actually had even more on his mind now. "Ben, I wish I knew what you would have me do!" he burst out loud to the night air as he turned the corner to his place.

Walking in the door, Duncan was struck by how everything in his place looked exactly the same as he had left it. His dirty dishes were ripening in the sink and seemed to be in competition with his laundry that was also ripening in the basket. The screen saver was racing away with designs on the computer he had left on and that seemed to be the only sign of life. It felt rather depressing to him, this sameness, this lack of other human's scent. There was something about brushing your teeth in the same sink with someone that added to life's sense of connectedness. He missed that.

He looked to his answering machine to provide some interaction. No luck, not even a message from Marsha. He felt a bit guilty that he had not been spending as much time there as he felt he should. "Shoulds" were never his strong suit, but he did make a note to ring her up tomorrow and invite her and Benny out to lunch or for ice cream. He cared deeply for them both, and he wanted to do the right thing by them. Duncan just found it so hard to have them as living reminders that Ben was really not away on a business trip.

He glanced over to the phone book and remembered that he wanted to double check to see how Ben's number was listed. He quickly found the Saunders, but only found a "Saunders, M & B" with no address attached. There must have been 10 or 15 Saunders listed and several of them with the initial "B" or "M" as well. It would be very difficult to find Ben and Marsha unless someone knew the part of town they lived in by the prefix of the number, or they just went through calling each one that might work. He was more relieved to note that there were even more listings with the last name of Sanders. Genvieve had even misspelled Sanders and had inverted the "r" and the "e."

Duncan felt fairly convinced that Ben's family was safe from Genvieve just randomly calling Marsha at home. The only loose ends seemed to involve her tracking down his e-mail information, or finding his homepage URL. So far, Genvieve didn't seem to be much of a threat at all. She seemed to miss Ben, but didn't seem to be desperately in love with him enough to track him down at any cost.

Before Duncan turned the computer off for the night, he decided to check the e-mail once again. He waited as a whole slew of business e-mails down-loaded. As the addresses and names flashed by, he noticed Genvieve's e-mail. Impatient to get to read what she had to say to Ben, he quickly scrolled down the list. Actually there were two from her.

The first one had the subject of "Sad and miss me" His heart almost broke for her as he read her words:

	"My dear Ben love,
I wait longer for you..... you no come. I e-mail....no 
	answer come. I love you all and you dont me? Tell me 
	tru. Tell my hart all. You mad? You hate me? I so sorry   
and dont no wye you mad. You sik? Pleese tell. Pleese.  
	I crying.
	G"

Duncan barely had the courage to read the next one. This one's subject was "Call to me"

"Ben love,
Pleese we fix mad. Call me. It will better. 
011339455635. Pleese we fix in fone. Ok all the time 
you call.
G"

It was very clear with these two letters, that he could not keep Genvieve hanging on in emotional pain like this. Based on the time of the e-mails, she must have sent them right after he had visited with her as Starbuck. He had a fairly strong feeling that she wouldn't harm Marsha or Benny, so now the issue was how he was going to break the news to Genvieve. He took the coward's way out, or the wise man's way out depending on perspective; Duncan decided to sleep on it.

As he tossed and turned trying to get comfortable and quiet his mind, he couldn't help but think of her picture and the feelings that surfaced for her when he was acting as Starbuck. He thought back also to some of the steamy logs of intimate sessions between Ben and her... (" oh yeah, BENHUR" he thought, half amused in that state of free association as his mind drifted undisciplined and grasping for sleep). He was a bit surprised that he was becoming aroused at the thought of their on-line lovemaking sessions. He had never been one for reading X-rated novels, but somehow this seemed different, knowing the woman involved. He finally gave into his body's insistence for attention. Then, satisfied, Duncan crossed over that line into sleep.

Dreams have a way of helping play out inner conflicts and Duncan was not to have a frivolous dream state that night. At one point, just as vivid as anything he had ever experienced before, he suddenly felt Ben standing behind him as he typed away at the keyboard. Ben's hand on Duncan's right shoulder even felt warm and comforting as Duncan kept typing away; the purpose not yet revealed to him. Duncan wanted to turn to Ben and shake him. He felt the urge to scream at him "WHAT have you done and what the hell am I doing?" but no words would come.

Duncan seem to be restricted to only typing away without understanding. He was not able to talk to Ben outright, so he tried to reach Ben with his mind. "Please tell me what to do Ben. Please tell me what to do!" he implored voicelessly. Ben continued to stand behind him, watching, present, but inaccessible. Just as Duncan felt he would go mad in this science fiction state of mind, he noticed he could finally make out some words on the computer screen. He woke at that exact moment. His right shoulder still felt the pressure of Ben's hand and his mind's eye was straining to read those words on the screen..."Now what does that mean?" he wondered as he stretched and rolled over.