As Marsha waited for Joel- to get "back" from yet another thing called a "split", she started thinking about all that had happened to them and how strongly she felt about him As soon as she saw his nick, it was like a chemical reaction swept through her and she was immediately exited to see him. She found herself thinking about him all day and night and wanting to be with him. She was so attracted to him, even though she had only seen his picture. How in the world could this be? He was on the other side of the world and they had never met and had only talked on the phone a few times. She had just lost her husband, for Pete's sake!

Joel had even asked her to come visit in Australia. While she had always dreamed of going there, how in the world could she justify taking her son there to meet this man? On the other hand, if Joel was becoming such an important person in her life, how could she travel that far and NOT take Benny with her to meet him. Benny would have the trip of a lifetime and it would be very educational for him.

Was she rationalizing a serious thinking error on her part, or was this part of their destiny? Maybe Joel could come back to the states first for a visit. After all he had lots of reason to be in the states and it would be less disruptive for she and Benny if it didn't feel right. That seemed to make the most sense and she would see if he could arrange it -- SOON!

Marsha looked at her watch and tried to imagine what time it was in Adelaide right now. Time was such a funny thing! When she called about flights there, she was told that even though it was a 14 hour trip, she would leave Australia and arrive home BEFORE the time she left! Joel and other new Australian friends had tried to tell her some trick to figure out the time difference. Was it to subtract 2 hours and add a day or what? She knew it was different because she was on the east coast of the states, but she always became confused. What was clear, was that their timing was very off to visit with each other over the net conveniently. Her day was always just starting (and early at that) when his was ending very late.

"Joel must be having a tough time getting back onto the net," Marsha thought to herself. It seemed as if things were much more difficult for Australia servers and she had to admit how shocked she was at the price they had to pay for their online connection. Luckily things were easier for her in the states.

Marsha heard that song in her head again and realized she was humming it softly to herself. She couldn't place it at all but somehow it had stayed with her... She was always making up little jingles for Benny and had even written a few songs for family and friends. Somehow, this seemed like something very different. Maybe she could try to write out some of her feelings about Joel in a song. If it turned out good, it would make a good Valentine's Day present.

"Hmmm, now what should I write?" Marsha mused as she looked at her computer screen. "Words on a Screen!" What a perfect title she thought. She got her notepad and started jotting down some ideas.

"Words on a Screen... bean, dean, green, keen, lean, mean... ahhh! Words on a screen, what can this MEAN?!!" Marsha wrote. "That is exactly how I feel! These are only words on a screen- what can this mean?!"

Marsha wrote and rewrote different lines and tried to capture her feelings of racing to turn the computer on to see him. "What an adventure," she thought. " 'I turn the computer on, and the adventure starts,' seems to be a good first line," Marsha decided. "It sure has my emotions going and so fast! Let's see... 'Emotions in space at a fast modem's pace.'"

"I race to the sight of you, every night for you," Marsha continued. "We netchat with friends... hmmm... friends, bends, ends... YES! We netchat with friends and the fun rarely ends! O.K., so now what do I have so far?" Marsha thought to herself.

"I turn the computer on, and the adventure starts! Emotions in space at a fast modem's pace. I race to the sight of you, every night for you. We netchat with friends and the fun rarely ends." Marsha looked at her words and they seemed to automatically fit with the tune that had been playing nonstop in her head.

"They're only words on a screen- what can this mean?! Now what rhymes with mean? She looked at her alphabet she had written down the side of the page and went through each letter to see what words might fit as she had before. She also thought about her situation and how she felt so strongly for him, even though she had never met him, seen him.

"Ah! That's it!" she exclaimed out loud. "They are only words on a screen- what can this mean- love sight unseen!" Marsha smiled as she read and reread the words she had written and sang them a bit with the tune in her head. It was as if this song was piecing together on its own.

Net time seemed to playing its own magic on her as she w*rked on her song for hours and didn't notice how fast time was flying. Before she knew it, 3 hours had passed. Joel still hadn't gotten back on, but Marsha had the song mostly done.

The first verse and the last verse seemed done and Marsha felt good about the chorus. There needed to be at least one more verse and she wasn't sure how to talk about the attraction she felt and how they could even *kiss* or hug on the screen at all. That was the oddest part of this whole thing. Marsha could feel herself blushing as she remembered how easily they talked about being "touch deprived" and how much she desired this man. When Joel wrote the words to her that he was hugging her, she actually felt almost hugged. Same thing with kissing or anything for that matter. At one point, she wrote to Joel, "Marsha snuggles into Joel's arms and listens to his heartbeat with her head on his chest." She found it extremely comforting, even though she fought those feelings as best she could.

"Maybe DEAR NETty has had time to write something back," Marsha thought as she went to the site in /MSGS from the 40's. "GREAT!" Marsha said excitedly as she saw that there was a reply to her question there.

"Dear Confused, and Singing,

Welcome to the Cyber world and you have discovered one of the most surprising things which our world of words has to offer. It is hard for those who have not experienced the emotions you speak of to understand the strength of friendship, and of love, which can be found in this reality which is born of the imagination and often fantasy.

Is it surprising that you feel emotional commitment with one whom you spend time talking to, with whom you share part of yourself? Particularly in chat that often touches the soul and heart of your life and being. When you find a soul mate in Cyber, it is difficult not to grow close with a depth of emotion that can be as confusing as it is enlightening.

Reach out and hold these feelings, they are precious and as real as you will allow them to be. Your reality can survive only in Cyber if you choose, or you can draw it into real life if this is what you and your friend decide and want.

If taking up your writing will develop your growth then do so, enjoy the love which has been granted you. The expression of your power to share love can only enrich your family, your son and yourself.

From Blabby... BLABBY!!!!! Hmmph LOL

NETty

Marsha thought long and hard about what NETty had to say. She even noticed the teasing reply from ALTERNETy. In a way, their advice felt very freeing, which was helpful because Marsha was now writing LOVE SONGS to this man. HOW could this be?

While she was in /MSGS, she noticed that there was a place to send people VALENTINES and even do it anonymously at that. That might be the perfect place to send Joel his Valentine's Song if she ever finished it. She decided to give up on waiting for Joel to come back on and headed for bed. Another short night for her, but she seemed powered by energies other than sleep lately.

Duncan's next day at work was so cram-packed, he gratefully had little time to think about Genvieve. A night meeting kept him hopping until very late as well and he fell into bed without even checking phone messages or turning on the computer. It was mid-afternoon the following day when he finally had a minute to himself and he decided to explore his work computer.

He saw right away that he was able to hook up to the Internet through NETSCAPE, but he didn't see any program that would let him talk on channel as he had done with his mIRC. He decided to try and use a search engine to try and find the name of that magazine for the different channels. "What was the name of it," he asked himself as he typed in "cyberzine" and "/MSGs." Hopefully he would get a hit. "These search engines were really amazing," he thought and sure enough, there were several hits about the online magazine.

He was a bit concerned with a warning came on his screen about things not being secure and did he want to continue. He answered "yes" but felt nervous about what kind of trouble he could get in if he accidentally downloaded a virus to his work machine. In fact, he hadn't asked permission to be on the Internet at all and he wasn't sure if he should. He justified it to himself that he came early and stayed late at work so this time on the net wasn't cheating work out of his time, it was just spread out time.

A few days passed and still no sign of Genvieve even though Duncan kept a watch out for her. It was probably good that she split right way after he told her, she probably needed time to think about the shocking news. It must have been hard for her to find out that first Ben was dead and for so long. She must also be furious with him for the deceit on his part for not telling her who he was right away. There was no way around it; he had to face the fact that he blew it big-time, no matter how good he thought his intentions to be. He only hoped she was O.K.

Each night as he logged on in hopes of finding Genvieve, he instead saw Marsha. She seemed to always be with Joel lately and if Duncan were really honest with himself, he would have to admit that he missed her. She seemed to be head over heals for this Joel guy. Marsha had even introduced them. Duncan was a bit surprised at himself at how much he seemed to like that fellow, in spite of his unspoken resistance to liking him.

One night, his "notify" paid off with word that Genvieve was on. Should he message her or wait for her to initiate? Before he had time to worry about that issue, she invited him to a private channel- "#SADheart." Duncan joined the channel with a HEAVY heart.

The day before Valentine's Day found Marsha excited like a schoolgirl again. Should she post the song she finished? Was it too racy? Well, it CAN be anonymous she reminded herself again and made the plunge. She would just put in their real initials and see if Joel would catch on. "Here goes," she thought. "No guts, no glory!"

I turn the computer on and the adventure starts
Emotions in space at a fast modems pace.
I race to the sight of you -- every night for you.
We netchat with friends, the fun rarely ends.

They're only words on a screen- what can this mean?
Love sight unseen.
And yet I'm mad for you -- I've got it bad for you.
Emotion just flows and still my love grows.

I cling to the dream of you- the thought of touching you.
Our bodies both lent -- love's passion well spent.
I flush with desire as you keystroke my fire.
I quiver and then -- we *hug* once again.

You're only words on a screen -- what can this mean?
Love sight unseen.
You know I'm mad for you -- I've got it bad for you.
Emotion just flows and still my love grows.

Your night world is calling you -- just as my day begins.
The time's gone so fast -- we wish it would last.
It's hard when we both want more- to shut that computer door.
You kiss me 'til when -- we can *hug* once again.

We're only words on the screen -- what can this mean?
Love sight unseen.
But KNOW I'm mad for you -- I've got it bad for you.
Emotion just flows and still my love grows --
But how can it grow?"

"I did it!" Marsha said to herself. "What a wild roller coaster- this thing called 'love!'"
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!