When he hung up, he started thinking about what Marsha had said about the computer. She had acted like it was another woman and now it seems like she was more intuitive than she even knew. All this time he had thought of Marsha and Ben as having the best marriage around. They had always been there for each other and seemed to really enjoy each other. When Bennie was born, he wondered if they would weather the strain of a child with such a bad case of colic, but they seemed to pull together even more. Watching their relationship over the last 20 years was almost enough to make him reconsider his confirmed bachelorhood.

So what could have happened with Ben for him to be able to have had this affair with a woman on the computer? It seemed very bizare to even think of electrons on a screen as being an affair. Then he just had to remember her picture. He found himself even daydreaming a bit about her. But his brother? Duncan was always the one in the family with the "Peter Pan complex" of not committing to women.

The computer sat there, almost drawing him to it. He didn't need to be anywhere until dinner time so why not explore a bit more on the thing? He signed on and looked for any names on #snugglenest. No luck. And the list of names that popped up on what Kevin had called his notices... no he called it a notify... did not contain the name of Genvieve. He decided to go to #newbies again, and tried to recall how one did it. "Ah yes," he thought to himself and a window popped up. Scrolling the list of who was on, he didn't even see the name Pixi, so he just settled back to observe and respond with what seemed like endless "hi" and "byes"

A sound from the computer jostled Duncan out of this passive observer state. He noticed a red little box at the bottom of the screen and it had GENVIEVE's name on it! YIKES! What was he supposed to do now? He clicked on the box and there she was "holding him tight and kissing him like there was no tomorrow!" He froze. She was admonishing him and forgiving him at the same time for being away so long without e-mailing or anything. She then started to talk about intimate things that she had been missing from him and he would "just have to make it up to her!" Since he had not responded, she started asking him if he was there and a sound came from the machine again with a red word "ping."

He panicked, and without really thinking it through, he just turned off the computer altogether. What in the world would she think of him? Oh, but it wasn't even him, it was Ben that she thought she was dealing with. What now? How the hell could he sort out this one? He needed time to think.

It was almost time to go to dinner at Marsha and Bennie's, so he could thankfully get distracted with that as he got ready to go. Another thing crossed his mind as he drove to pick up something to bring. How could he best protect Marsha from all this? What if this woman, whoever she really was, took the news hard about Ben's death and tried to contact Marsha directly? How could he warn Marsha that there was a woman in Ben's life that she had no idea existed, in a world she knew nothing about as well. He tried to reason with himself that he would just have to understand more about this mIRC and Genvieve before he would know the best course of action.

The butterfly feeder he chose to bring with him was a great hit as much as anything could be right now. He and Bennie enjoyed putting it together and placing it in just the right spot in the back yard. He noticed that the yard was looking a bit lonesome for Ben also. Ben had been the one to take pride in his flower and vegetable gardens and maintained the landscaping as well. Duncan wondered how Marsha was going to handle all the upkeep of the house, but thought it best to let things settle even more before broaching that subject. Instead, he got Bennie to "help" him with mowing the lawn. Marsha protested, but Duncan could tell that she also was grateful to have one less worry on her mind, at least for today. He felt so sad that she was having to face the grim realities of being a widow and also a single mom.

Duncan found himself leaving earlier than he might have in the past. He felt a bit guilty as he actually wanted to get home and get on the computer. He wasn't sure yet what he would do if he saw her again right away, but hoped that he could figure out something soon. Duncan was very nervous also about signing on. He was afraid that he might have messed up the software by turning off the machine abruptly. So far so good; he was IN! He noticed the Eudora icon and remembered that he hadn't even thought to check the email. Kevin had showed him how to do it, if he could only remember this system. Maybe Genvieve had even written something.

Reading his notes from Kevin, and using "help" in Eudora, he figured out how to check the incoming mail. Almost two weeks had passed, and he sat watching e-mail after email come in. All in all, Ben had over 180 e-mails, most of which seemed to be some kind of mail group. In the midst of all of them, he noticed one from Genvieve. The subject was simply, "Je t'aime." His high school French didn't have to work too hard to remember that it meant "i love you" and he opened it right away.

"Dear my Ben,

My sweet cheri, what has happened you? I waits for you for longest and you no waits for me. Do you not have the red blood that boileds for me this more? I am for you. You know how is in my heart!!!!

Genvieve"

He found her gifs again and looked at them as he thought about what to do. He could find no easy answers for anyone involved. If he just sought her out and told her that he was Ben's brother and that he had some sad news to tell her, there was no telling how she would react. He simply had to get to know her better. How, was the pivotal question. How?

Duncan tried to reason out all the different angles and possibilities as objectively as he could.

First, he could pose as Ben/tnderhart himself and see what all was involved. He could then work to let her down easy and eventually break it off with her altogether. That plan, while unethical in many ways, had the advantage of being the least volitile if handled slowly and right. It was VERY risky if she found out; she would be furious and rightfully so!. The likelihood of her finding out though was slim. A small town in France was not likely to have the obituaries of New London, Connecticut.

2. He could come on as himself, Ben's brother and just seek her out and break the news as best he could. That seemed the most abrupt and risky, especially for Marsha.

3. He could come on as himself and not tell Genvieve that he was Ben's brother and just try to get to know her until he had a better sense of how she might react. She might not give him the time of day and it might take too long with this approach, but it had some merits as well.

4. He could come on as Ben's brother, tell her that Ben was away on an extended trip and he had shared with Duncan how special she was to him. He could then gain her confidence and sort out the best approach to break the news and break away from her.

5. He could come on as a stranger and just get to know her. After all, he was privy to some pretty personal information about what she liked and what she didn't like. This way he might be able to distract her at least for a while from wondering about Ben. If Ben did care for her as the few logs he had read so far had indicated, then she was well worth the extra time it would take to help her through the hard times to come. For now though, Duncan thought he should probably reply to her email. Maybe it was best to sleep on it and attempt it in the morning.

More determined to handle this situation with the utmost of care, he decided to read all of their emails and logs, so he could do the best job possible. Ben seemed to have saved everything they ever did together. He grabbed some coffee and started in at the beginning.

From the looks of the log with the earliest date, it appears that Genvieve was the initiator. She was teasing him about needing to have him be her own personal English teacher and she needed LOTS of private lessons. Ben appeared to be enjoying himself and was playing along, but was also referring to needing permission from his wife. "Good deal, Ben" said Duncan. "You didn't pretend that you were unattached and it shows you cared about Marsha enough to keep some perspective here."

Duncan felt out of breath and an almost smothering feeling come over him when he realized he was having conversations with Ben as if he was just across town at his house. It hit him again, hard, that Ben was not only NOT across the street, but that he was not coming back. He didn't realize how difficult this was going to be to read all about this whole other life his brother had, especially when Duncan missed him so much. He left the computer running and just left to get some air.

Mindlessly walking anywhere his feet were taking him, Duncan noticed he was near St. John's street. Ben had told him about this place called the WASH, SPIN and NET, a laundromat close on St. John's where people could do their laundry and, of all things, be on the Internet. When Ben first told him, he remembered laughing out loud at the concept, and thought to himself that people spend their time and money in all sorts of ridiculous ways. Now, here he was. Curious and also thirsty, he popped in to see what this place was all about.

In the one section, it looked like a standard upscale laundromat. The smell of dryer sheets and fresh detergents filled his nose until he noticed the latte bar. His senses got a different treat as he enjoyed his double espresso. That Starbuck's coffee was just perfect for the sort of mood he was in. What a treat!

He noticed that the other side of the place was hopping as well. There looked to be about 10 or 12 computers all set up with one or two people at each computer. It felt like a party as people were laughing out loud or kidding each other about something that was happening on the screen or mistakes they might be making. People were asking for help with different things and the whole atmosphere was very inviting. There was a waiting list, but Duncan decided he would try his hand at signing on here.

When it was finally Duncan's turn, the person at the counter had to come over and help him get started. Apparently because he hadn't shut down the computer at home; he couldn't use that account here. For a few dollars more, the counter guy had him hooked up to the company account and showed him how to change his nick. He thought he might as well just use "Duncan", but found that it was already in use, so, since fast thinking on his feet was not his strong suit, decided on the nick "Starbuck". He was on.

The person at the next computer to him showed him how to do a /whois genvieve since he didn't have his notify to show him. He felt a burst of adrenelin as he saw that she was on and on a channel called #44plusfriends. "Here goes," he thought, as he typed in /join #44plusfriends. "What in the world am I in for?"