LIFE GOES ON?
The infamous "they" all say to write what you know best, so I guess this month 's column
will be about taking a break from IRC and living to tell about it.
For way over 2 years now, I have been making IRC a significant part of my daily life. It
was a natural part of my morning as I checked in with friends while making breakfast and
getting our household moving. It used to be a standard part of my afternoon while my son
took his nap, but then Alden had the nerve to grow out of naps! =) After son and hubby
were happily off in dream land, I would then connect again and would often be on until
the wee hours of the morning. I prided myself in cramming IRC, all the w*rk that the
newsletter took, email, and the WWW into my life in only the times where it didn't take
away from my family. For the longest time I have told myself that I was home, didn't watch
TV, was not on drugs or drinking, and even barely ate while on the net. I justified it as a
GOOD addiction. If I peel away the surface layers, I can see that it definitely has its
consequences as well.
In the not to distant past, I used to do a good job of juggling multiple activities. More often
than not, I have w*rked 50-60 hours a week or full-time and have gone to school full time,
still making time for volunteering and also having an active social life. When my son was
born, that seemed to change. A big part of that was sleep deprivation. One of my favorite
comments was that 'I now seemed to be brain damaged and I would have to depend on
the kindness of strangers' as my memory was now shot. My time on the net seems to
have accentuated that feeling.
If you subscribe to the theory that we humans only use 10% of our brains, I believe that I
have crammed too many details into such a small space considering all the hundreds of
people I see at w*rk, all the codes and passwords of the computer systems there, all the
codes and passwords for our bank accounts, our social security numbers, all the codes
and passwords for our two internet accounts, email addresses, urls, important business/
friends' numbers, etc. . To use a computer metaphor, I need to either INSTALL
more memory, or I need to UNINSTALL some things to free up more of my usable
memory.
Don't get me wrong; my connection with the internet has brought my family and me
countless wonderful experiences too. Being a people person, I have had an abundance
of good connections with people. I, like many others, have made lifelong friends who
have touched all of our lives. The sights/sites we have seen, the skills we have acquired,
have all been incredibly enriching.
I also believe it helped satisfy a wanderlust and feeling of discontent in me during some
mid-life crises that actually helped me through some very rough times. Since my job has
me dealing with the worst atrocities from child abuse to murder, it has helped me balance
my time with some playfulness. It comforts me to know that any time I am bored, sad,
frustrated, playful, lonely, I am able to get an instant "fix" with IRC. Delayed gratification
has never been my strong suit. While not exactly part of the MTV generation, and even
though Sesame Street didn't come on until I was in high school, never-the-less, I tend to
be a stimulation junkie. The net has been perfect in that there is always something going
on somewhere.
So, reasons for taking a break well thought out, I made the plunge. There have been
others that I have known who have pulled it off so I was encouraged. Fleep and Nitram
being some of the most recent ones. I talked to a few people on-line directly about it but
mostly sent out a short email to those who had filled my daily life and might be concerned.
Apparently there was speculation about whether it was a specific event that sent me off or
whether it was a case of general burnout. There was no on-line situation that drove me
away and my husband has always been supportive of my internet life. I guess I just want
to channel my limited time, memory and energy towards some different things right now.
The jury is still out as to whether I will keep it up. It hasn't been as difficult as I had
originally imagined, but I probably have checked and written email way more than I had
previously. I also know that I have cruised the Web more than ever before. Sadly, I
missed a few birthdays I would not have missed had I been more "in the loop". I also miss
the spontaneity with friends while on IRC The good news is that I have also taken more
walks with my son and my dog than I ever have and am in the process of joining a health
club. More of my computer time now includes helping my son with educational CD's or
playing a challenging game with my husband. A while back I had written a song about the
internet and I a few weeks ago I actually made a demo tape that I am trying to get on the
radio. I am also SLEEPING more! Who knows, maybe brain damage caused by sleep
deprivation is REVERSIBLE.
Wish me luck! (in email)
Here are some URLS regarding INTERNET ADDICTION:
http://ct.ufp.org/~pagan/ctarchives/news/960405/studyinternet.html
http://www.stresscure.com/hrn/addiction.html
http://www.stresscure.com/hrn/common.html
http://www.user-groups.com/Mac/Articles/CMail.html
http://www.cog.brown.edu/brochure/people/duchon/humor/internet.addiction.html
Friends
"A Whole Other Life"
"Words On A Screen"
Virtual Delights
/MSGs From the 40's