"I'll be there in a few minutes, honey, I just want to check my mail and see if (fill in the blank with a special nick) is there." An hour and a half later, honey comes in again; this time a bit miffed. "Sorry honey, I lost track of time. I just have to say 'good-bye' to everyone and I will be right there." Forty-five minutes later, honey is now w*rking on more than a slow burn (and most likely NOT the fun kind <G>)and goes to bed. Honey is definitely not much fun to deal with at this point, especially compared to the witty repartee that had to actually be cut short just as (fill in the name of different special nick) was coming on-line.
From honey's perspective, at LEAST two hours and 15 minutes had passed in the same time that Mr./Ms./S.O. Honey felt like only 20 minutes had passed. IRC and WWW might sometimes be more aptly named: Irresistible Real-time Collectors or Wanderings Without Will-power. *GRIN*.
In this case, honey knew what was going on and that there were actual real- life people on the other end of the computer connection. This honey might have even come to channel or had at least looked over someone's shoulder a bit to get a grasp of what this computer thing was. From their point of view, they might just not be interested or care about what goes on. Their only concern is the time eaten up with this new TIME THIEF.
In other cases, honey has NO idea about what happens with the computer and doesn't even know this world exists let alone in what depth it plays out .They might think that there is just LOTS of take-home or computer w*rk to be done.
Recently, a case involving unfaithfulness on IRC led to a divorce suit and made the papers. Most honeys are not going to react that strongly, and most honey-IRC_SO's are not going to do anything to cause that reaction. Often, people will say good-bye to IRC if things get to the critical stage, because they need to concentrate on real life. However, it does bring up many issues.
There is a whole range of opinions concerning IRC relationships. Some have described them as an interactive adventure or even an erotic novel with absolutely no base in reality. They see it as little more than reading a book, fantasizing about what goes on in the book and not threatening to their significant other in any way. Their on-line partners are never thought of as "the other man/woman" and they would never think of "cheating" in real life.
Others use IRC relationships to gain support and comfort from their on-line relationships. They might even think of themselves as going outside the RL relationship, but feel justified and safer using IRC for a variety of reasons. I saw a sign-off message that said something to the effect of "If your wife (S.O.) doesn't understand you, why should I?" It would appear however, that there is a great deal of "understanding" happening on-line.
Is it possible that sometimes people work harder at IRC communication and relationships then at real ones? Does the ability to sign off easily or connect in scheduled ways make relationships easier or less complicated and demanding? Is it some lack in real life relationships that makes the virtual world so attractive? Is it possible that cyberspace has become a safer and less unethical way of finding (and maybe even satisfying) what you seek from someone other than honey?
Balance is a precarious thing at best (supposedly people were never intended to walk upright <G>), but that is what each of us needs to achieve between real life and our cyber-existence. I do not have all the answers for ME much less for everyone. I do know however, that if I treat honey at least as well as I do my best friends in cyberspace, life on-line AND off-line is not only more satisfying, but enjoyable all the way around.